I've seen these before. Even used them in my presidential address. But it's one of those ones that it's good to recirculate.
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: 'Directions: Use like regular soap.' (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.' (but, it's 'just' a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): 'Do not turn upside down.' (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating.' (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body.' (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.' (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only.' (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: 'Not to be used for the other use.' (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: 'Warning: contains nuts.' (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.' (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
2 comments:
Okay, Stephanie, I've gotta know. Are those your comments after each label direction? Totally hysterical!
No, I'd love to claim them, but unfortunately they are not mine. :)
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