Thursday, January 31, 2008

Snowboarding

For many years I have desired to learn to snowboard but have never had the opportunity. For this year's winterfest I finally got to. Pisgah takes the entire school out either snowboarding/skiing or shopping in gatlinburg/pigeon forge. I, as a sponsor, get to go free!

First of all let me set the stage for you. By tuesday I had been on duty for 8 days, due to some scheduling issues and trips that sharon and I had to go on. I was getting about an average of 4-5 hours of good sleep a night, then a few more interrupted hours. This isn't the norm but we've had a lot going on and a lot of sick girls. And... I was getting sick.

So when Wednesday came I was totally wiped out and wishing I had chosen shopping instead, but went whole-heartedly anyway. Alexia had promised that she would show me what I was doing so I trusted her. I came to figure out this was a bad idea.

Part 1: Walking. To walk you have one foot twisted sideways in the binding, the other free to push you along. Never looked terribly difficult but well on ice I was down three times before I made it to the lift. The guy finally just had to pull me on.

Part 2: The lift. Ok now I'm finally on and the thought hits me. I HAVE TO GET OFF! how in the world!?!?! Emily tries to instruct me and I'm feeling a little bit better about the situation when I realized that Pastor Buz is behind us. In the course of the conversation he discovers this is my first time and asks "Then why are you going 2/3 of the way up the mountain?" WHAT!!!! that's a good question. Why am I? ALEXIA! Buz had his hands folded in prayer for me as I watched the mountain get higher and higher with no end in sight. This= petrified.

Part 3: Disembarking. As expected I didn't even really manage to stand up before I was flat on my face getting off the lift. But then I began to notice another problem. I was sitting on ice and the mountain started sloping almost immediately, which added together meant that I was sliding. Within a matter of seconds I was sliding down the mountain with one foot in the binding totally useless, and my hands grasping at the mountain trying desperately to stop myself. But it was a sheet of ice and there was nothing to grab onto.The last thing I saw was Alexia pointing at me in interest. I don't know who came up with the nonsense about your life flashing before your eyes. Who has time for that when you are thinking of all the horrible ways in which you are about to die!?!

Part 4: The Learning Curve. Finally the mountain leveled off enough for me to stop and Alexia and Emily came to my rescue. It was decided that I was to get up and just go. yeah....right..... instead I went down almost the entire mountain on my butt, thinking about standing up, trying a few times, but basically just loathing my position in life. By the time I got to the bottom, Alexia and Emily had already passed me going back up and I decided to abandon their ship and find the bunny hills.

Part 4: The Turning Point. By lunch I was totally exhausted. I no longer had any knees left. They had been shattered somewhere back in the snow. I came to find out that even the experienced boarders weren't doing so hot either, which made me feel better. Josh asked me why I hadn't gotten him to teach me.. good question! so I took him up on it and WOW, 10 minute mechanics lesson and I am going, oooooooooh!!!!! simple things like the fact that I was putting my weight on the wrong foot made a HUGE difference. But he pointed out that I was using my heel side edge (yes that was comfortable there thank you) and needed to try my toe side. Ok so I willingly tried it, and this is when falling reached it's peak. When you're sliding down a mountain and catch an edge this isn't just like a slow, easy fall. you're down, hard, and for the most part you hit pure ice. I'd just lay there for 5 minutes taking deep breaths, wondering if I was going to make it. This is also a whole lot harder on your body then skiing, and by 2:30 I was shaking I was so tired. I was trying to drink out of a bottle but my hands were shaking so badly that it was rather difficult. I had also almost completely lost my voice, so I decided I was done for the day and played cards in the lodge with the kids.

Part 5: The Aftermath. By the end of the day most of us were totally beat up. Hindman said that he'd lose a fight with a kindergartener at that moment. I concurred. But we also had a broken clavicle on the way to the ER, another with a hurt knee, and later we'd find out two broken wrists. I'm still waiting to hear if there is more. I personally escaped to Callie and Andy's house where they let me sleep for 12 hours. I woke up this morning in extreme pain. Sitting up in bed required much gritting of teeth. Lucky me has the day off but I can't really decide what to do. I could go to B&N and read (my all time favorite) but that requires sitting on a hard chair for hours and I can't even sit on a soft one. I desperately need to clean my house but that requires a lot of movement and bending and that just sounds like torture. Or I could lay on my couch and be totally sedentary, but that just sounds absolutely boring.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

January Break

During break I tend to have the girls in my house quite a bit. Friday night they all crashed there for vespers.


Maggie took over my chair. This was one of her early on awake moments. :)
Tye actually let me take a picture with her!!! See how happy I make her?

A much more willing picture taker.

Aren't I just the luckiest?

Old Pics

Yes, I know, I'm terrible but I finally got these pictures off my camera from Christmas break.

Dean Josh and I made a pancake dinner for all of the kids that had to stay over break.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Dam

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read State's letter before you get to the response letter.



SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.


A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.


The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2008.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:


Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/07 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.



These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.



My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

(Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2008? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Recharged

It's been a long week, and I found myself totally zonked today. But instead of the relaxing weekend, I ended up with less sleep then I started with. By this evening I was so grumpy I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't want to see another human being. I wanted to die.

But I knew that I needed people, and so I got off my rear end and went to fun depot with the kids tonight. As I was sitting in the bus on the way back with one girl's arm through mine and her head on my shoulder, and another on my lap, suddenly I wasn't even tired anymore. I swear, tho I complain at times, and sometimes more then others, I have the best job in the world. I get to do everything I love and the girls are just great! They make me laugh and cry all at the same time. I was thinking to myself the other day, I laugh a lot here. Seriously, it's probably doubled or tripled in occurence. Is it possible for your heart to swell and almost burst out of your chest? Cause tonight it did.

I'm going to be so heart broken when I leave. Not only have I grown to adore the girls, but I have also made some really lasting friendships with the staff. And they aren't just any kind of friendship. You go through a lot together, have to trust each other, and lean on their advice. I'm scared to death that when I leave it will be just like any other move I've made where we lose contact and there go some of my best friends ever. I know it's not on purpose. You just get busy with your life.

However, that's months away, and I need to stop dreading it. There's no time for that anyway, I'm having too much fun.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Dreams

Dream From the time I was 3 I've always been told and well, pretty much believed that dreams are wonderful, beautiful things, that make you want to burst out into song and...well you know what I mean.Think of all the songs that contain the word dream. The word dream just carries a beautiful connotation. Lies I tell you all lies! As of today, when the truth finally hit me, I'm putting them in my book right next to santa clause. Why I just now come to this conclusion astounds me but...oh well.

Think about it for a minute. When was the last time you actually had an amazing dream? I have never hopped around on clouds or had sugar plums dance in my head. Usually mine are filled with people trying to kill me, hiding from somebody or something, trying to get things done and can't, going to class in my birthday suit, my mother turning into hillary clinton, or then there's my favorite: I have tons to do the next day and I know it. I go to sleep completely stressed about it and dream that I get it all done and wake up to only have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN! what is that? I'm definitely not waking up singing, or whistling while I work as the case may be.

There have been some huge stressors in my life of late and I went to bed with them on my mind last night. I'm sure I dreamt of them all night but somewhere around 6 this morning it really started. I was having an amazing dream. EVERYTHING that was going wrong in my life was working out, I had tears of joy in my eyes when all of the sudden the dean's phone went off and I was shaken back into reality with "such and such isn't at work.Would you mind hunting them down?" You see my point? Amazing dream now turned into the worst thing ever, because I just went from heaven to...well I wouldn't say I went as far as hell, but you know what I mean. Quite frankly I could have really done without it.

But that's just the mental. Tell me how one get's chased with a knife but yet lies perfectly still. I'm here to submit to you that it doesn't happen. Quite often the pain I feel in my dream (that may have been from being stabbed in the back etc) is real. I honestly could use a chiropractor every morning from all my contortionism.

So in conclusion I'd like to vote that I just work out my life in real time when I have my complete and total brain. Sleeping is supposed to make the world go away... So why doesn't it?

Disclaimer: I know that some of the beautifulness refers to DAY dreaming. And yes as of this moment, I still support their cause.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Non Interesting Factoids

I am a messy cook....In general I'm sure I lose about a half cup of ingredients when I cook things. They could end up anywhere; the walls, the counters, the floor, my bedroom. You think I'm kidding. Flour tends to be attracted to me and follows me wherever I go. Mom remarked that she can always tell where I've been after I cook anything cause I leave food behind. This became a bigger problem today when the ingredient of choice was enchilada sauce. It tends to stain things if you know what I mean. Please excuse my red dalmatian appearance.

I am scatter brained.....There are parts of my day that never seem to enter into my train of thought. For instance, in church today I was singing along during praise service with the hymnal, a bulletin, a flyer (with my daddy on it proclaiming his new directorship. yeeeeah!) and my bible, all consuming my lap. The bible had a tendency to slide and I remember thinking I should do something about the problem. Later during the sermon as I was sizing up my surroundings I found my bible, the hymnal, the flyer, and the bulletin to be in a nice concise pile under the pew. My first thought was why is the hymnal down there? It belongs in the rack! but then I thought...wait a minute, how is ANY of it down there? I thought and thought as hard as I could for quite some time, but could not for the life of me remember committing this act of organization.

I am a night person...I might go to bed and miss something! Who wants to party at 6 am? Night life is where it's at. Think about it, which is more fun, going to a movie in the middle of the day or at night? if you said the middle of the day, I don't believe you. (either that or you're a tight wad who thrives on matinees) Work happens so much more efficiently at night. You see I have a deadline at night, therefore I get it done! I have a whole day to get it done in the morning and I can always stay in bed just a little bit longer and still make it. My eyes talk me out of a lot of things. I can stay up for forever, just don't make me get out of bed.

I am indecisive.....Don't ask me what I want to do. pleeeeeeease. I beg of you. What if I hurt your feelings and chose the wrong thing? What if you later find it totally boring? What if you don't like that kind of food? Do *I* want to do that? What if there's something else better to do. If I go here somebody else is going to call me and want to do something else! What if I go there I'd make it but what if I went there it was for sure I'd end up dying? oh the what ifs! But if you are going to sit and lolly gag around for 8 hours and be indecisive, shoot me in the head, WE'RE DOING THIS AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!" don't ask me how that works. I abhor my own kind pretty much.

I am in love with driving....absolutely nothing beats clicking through the gears of a manual transmission. Yes, even in a lovely 4 cylinder, negative horse power car like mine. Jaclyn named him sparky for good reason, don't knock it. He doubles as a race car, you just haven't seen it yet.

I am an herbivore....No this does not classify me as a cud chewing cow. Grass is never..err...rarely found on my menu. I mean come on. Which sounds worse? Grass or a bladder? Don't get me wrong, I don't judge. I'll happily serve you up some deadness, but pass me the tofu and I'll make it taste amazing. You think I'm kidding. Rubber can be very delectable when cooked properly.