To Be A "Mom"

~ Last night there was just no time to go to bed. This morning you get to be their alarm clock. Neither of you appreciate the gesture but lets look at the bright side, this is a "growing experience." By this I mean they learn to come up with believable lies and I get to come up with reasons why they are not true. The tears are turned on as "I'm sick and going to die!" exits their mouth. Right...where's my rectal thermometer?

~ If they are awake then you better be awake too; poised and ready for whatever the need of the moment may be. This takes fore knowledge of their habits and if for some reason they decide to deviate; well why didn't you just telepathically know? GET UP!

~ They don't have money for it so you must. After all, it's a known fact that you are rich. Share the wealth! Don't be so selfish.

~ You are the never ending source of information and knowledge. It is expected that you are able to fix everything and anything. If this isn't true you better learn quick. If they need it and you don't seem to have it then you better make it appear with your super powers...or your never ending source of money.

~ Love is expressed through random creations made on anything present. Some may lack all creative genius but no matter. You think they are the most precious things in the world, and yes they will be on your wall portrayed for all the world to see.

~ Any performance they give, you'll be there, no matter what, and you'll be beaming no matter the quality. Only you understand the blood, sweat, and tears, that have been put into this moment. You're so proud you're bursting, and that's just the way it is.

~ If they are sick, they want YOU and they want you to FIX IT!

~ They've lost it, you must find it, and you must find it NOW. Doesn't matter what it is, doesn't matter what time of day it is, now is simply too late. An alien has stolen it, they just know it. Have they looked for it themselves? Of course not. Why would they do that? Or...ok...if they have looked for it, it involved standing in the middle of their room freaking out and passing an eye over everything, maybe even throwing some things around. This is considered looking EVERYWHERE for it.

~ Your body is covered in what you like to call "love bruises." These are from being tackled in a hug or wrestling matches or just any need to be near you. Doesn't matter, these are your prized "shiners."

Bad Advertising

So I'm driving home last night, it's about 12 am by this time, and I'm amusing myself by reading billboards.

Coming up on one I immediately notice the most adorable puppies all cuddled up in blankets; the words, soft and inviting, were scrawled across the picture. What, might you ask, are they advertising? Why steel of course! ummmm what? Not EVEN kidding you.

Continuing to speed along my eye catches a big purple billboard with white writing proclaiming, "Hey look! A big purple rectangle!" and at 70 mph that's all I got. Great job guys, you got my attention, but for what exactly? Good luck in your endeavors...whoever you are.

Quite honestly it was an interesting drive. People shouldn't be allowed to be awake and driving at that time of day really. There was the guy that flashed his lights at me for 5 minutes straight. Why? well I don't really know. I was just driving along at 5 over...or...more...maybe... Didn't even encroach upon his blessed space. But my favorite was the guy that almost got us both killed. Some something was happening on the side of the road. WE were the only two cars on the road. I was driving a good five car lengths behind him when all of the sudden this guy SLAMS on his breaks to look at what's going on on the side of the road. Suddenly I'm on his bumper. Totally took out my breaks. I mean going from 75 to 35 in seconds just isn't healthy. I tried to pass him but he speeds up and gets quite a distance ahead when all of the sudden Curious George in human form spots a lowly car parked on the side of the road. This time I was lucky to be in a different lane and shot past him at his almost stopped position. You'd think he'd never seen a broken down car before.

Day With Mom

Mom came up for a few days this week to work on my dress for Jaclyn's wedding. On Tuesday afternoon we took a trip to the Biltmore House. The Vanderbilts built it and it happens to be the biggest house in the US, only 10 minutes from Pisgah, and I'd never been. Being that it's the off season they give you much cheaper tickets.

They of course do not allow pictures of the inside. It's much more modern then the ones in England and a bit smaller. Mom and I would be happy to just reside in the servants quarters. They were nicer then my bedroom. This house has a swimming pool with a personal changing room for every family member and every guest, a two lane bowling alley, and an pipe organ in the dining room!!!

The view from the back porch.

One of the green houses.

That would be us....

Mom gets dwarfed in the outdoor gardens.

If I lived here I would be the happiest person in the world. It just makes you want to meditate.

The dead gardens leading up to the house. This would be why the rates were so low.

Even their trees are special...

We also visited another country called Downtown Asheville. Yes they are an odd breed, and tho the clothing you see happens to be for a Mardi Gras parade, as Mom found out, it's really not all that abnormal.

This next picture I had to post simply because it makes me giggle.

This is my Uncle George at the parade.... No actually I've never met him before but you wouldn't know the difference now would you? I was desperately trying to get a picture of this float but was coming across some great challenges. Mr. Happy here not only had to block my picture taking, but poses and smiles as if we've known each other for years!

Here's the worst picture of the float but it was the best one that Uncle George would allow... sorry.

AND THEN!!!! I was having a bad week..errr couple of weeks and so Heather bought me flowers!!!! And let me tell you I happen to think their gorgeous.


Between Heather's flowers, Callie's Chai, and my day with Mom, I've quite recuperated from the weeks of torture. Blessed I am.