Evolution

Yearbook signing....

I remember in grade school all it was was name signing. First of all, you were lucky if you could even read the signature, but if you got a heart of a star by the name, that really meant something. Freshmen year of high school it got a little bit more elaborate with the, "hey it was great getting to know you, have a nice summer." I find myself wanting to use those lines at times in addition to others because I really do mean them...but they've been ruined. One that made me giggle this year was, "Hi Dean Stephanie, How are you doing?" I need to go back and sign hers with an "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

As I grew older the notes got longer and longer. I even had certain key things I did in each one, like CLASS OF 2005 FOREVER! But they started to encompass memories and those are the ones that I cherish. I love to still go back and read those. Who needs to know how great I was? I want to remember the memories and inside jokes--the things that made the school year what it truly was.

Now as a staff member it's a new kind of yearbook signing. I find myself wanting to say so much to my girls. Tell them how wonderful they are and how I know they can do anything they put their minds to. That I know they have a rough life and I wish I could take it from them. And how does one tell them that the discipline you put them through was because you loved them and wanted the best for them? It breaks my heart to know that they will be leaving here to go and mess up their lives somewhere.

But on the reverse side their messages to me have been irreplaceable. They show me that everything I have tried to do has meant something, maybe just to them, but I'll take that one. Some of the the girls that I have fought with all year let me know that they truly appreciate me and love me! There was one that said I'd gotten them started reading a certain book of the bible. That is THE best compliment I could ever have.

It all just makes me want to cry, especially because it's almost over. Some of my girls are leaving me today. Last night was the last study hall I'll ever run. I've grown to love this job and everything about it, even tho I've been disciplining right up to the last moment. These girls mean so much to me, and I really hope they know it.