Declaration of War

Those of you that take an interest in my blog may remember the late Mr. Dead. I'm here to tell you he has a cousin. And this cousin is GOING DOWN! You see cousin dead did something that no mouse should. He crossed into forbidden territory... The kitchen.

I was standing at my counter chopping veggies for what should have been a splendid vegetable lasagna, when I saw out of the corner of my eye, something grey streak up my wall. Hoping it was only a figment of my imagination, I began to look around. But when I moved my microwave to one side, I knew this grey streak was the real thing. You can only guess what was residing on my kitchen counter. And I will leave it at that because it's just too much to outright say it.

Suddenly my kitchen has become the most disgusting place in the world to me. You don't understand how hard it is to make it in there and cook, and now that I've got a couple days off and the energy to cook, I'm scared to even step foot in the place.

Against my better judgment I took one of Rosa's glue traps and stuck it in cousin dead's living space. All night I dreamt about the suffering that Mr. Dead had succumbed to. Even if cousin dead HAD crossed into forbidden territory, I didn't feel like it was right to treat him in such a manor. There must be a more humane way! So this morning I crept, with one eye open, into the kitchen to learn the fate of the little guy. Yes, he had been of the same intelligence level as his former comrade, and had managed to avoid certain torturous death. To be happy about this or not to be happy about this? That is the question.

Again seeking something good to eat, I managed to make myself enter the kitchen for some raspberry muffin making. This went very well for awhile, until, you guessed it, Cousin Dead when screaming across my stove top! I have never screamed at the sight of a varmint before, but today, let me tell you I did. This was not just any scream however; THIS was a scream of pure anger.

So here I stand on the verge of all out war, quite uncertain of my next move. Callie I have considered the neck snappers, but you would have to come clean that up cause I'm sorry; I'm not up for it. Ryan, baseball bat clubbing just isn't very humane either. Besides, who wants bloody snow? I have also considered moving out... but find that alternative rather disagreeable as well. So it is to Walmart I go in search of a better solution. If you find me covered in a rash displaying flu like symptoms, please take me to the hospital, for I am most likely dying of lyme disease. (yes I've looked this up) But have no fear, I WILL win this war, even if I have to get the Pied Piper to come do it for me.