Friday, December 21, 2007
The early bird gets exterminated
Thanks to a kindly man at Walmart I was able to locate the mouse traps and to my amazement, they had just the thing. It was a neck snapping trap enclosed in a little black box! It even came with a money back guarantee. Just the ticket...except that the first one was broken...and well, it would have been much better if it had entirely closed around the mouse instead of me being able to see in it at all. But I bought a second one, baited it, and placed it last night.
It was a scary thing to go to bed. What if I had to wake up to a screaming mouse as the trap snapped his neck? But I hoped against hope that I was a much harder sleeper then that, and went to bed anyway. Funny how things never work that way for me.
I had woken up early this morning to open the dorm doors so the girls could go to work and was back in bed, tottering on the edge of sleep, when BAM! loud snapping noise in the kitchen shook me wide awake. Thank goodness there was no screaming. How in the world did he know I was awake? Couldn't he have come out some other time? Stupid mouse.
Two hours later I was pulled from sleep once again to retrieve a girl from bed and make her go to work. Remembering what had happened earlier, I entered my kitchen to find a trap with a small tail protruding out of it. Death confirmed, 6:31 am. So like the grown up that I am, I ran back to bed and pretended it didn't happen.
But let me tell you it's hard to sleep with a dead mouse in the house, and so me, myself, and I, walked back into the kitchen grabbed the trap, took it to the dumpster and disposed of the varmint. You would have been proud.
by the way... if any other mouse should think my house warm and cozy and want to try this stunt, let this serve as a warning; I am armed, ready, and waiting.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Declaration of War
Those of you that take an interest in my blog may remember the late Mr. Dead. I'm here to tell you he has a cousin. And this cousin is GOING DOWN! You see cousin dead did something that no mouse should. He crossed into forbidden territory... The kitchen.
I was standing at my counter chopping veggies for what should have been a splendid vegetable lasagna, when I saw out of the corner of my eye, something grey streak up my wall. Hoping it was only a figment of my imagination, I began to look around. But when I moved my microwave to one side, I knew this grey streak was the real thing. You can only guess what was residing on my kitchen counter. And I will leave it at that because it's just too much to outright say it.
Suddenly my kitchen has become the most disgusting place in the world to me. You don't understand how hard it is to make it in there and cook, and now that I've got a couple days off and the energy to cook, I'm scared to even step foot in the place.
Against my better judgment I took one of
Again seeking something good to eat, I managed to make myself enter the kitchen for some raspberry muffin making. This went very well for awhile, until, you guessed it, Cousin Dead when screaming across my stove top! I have never screamed at the sight of a varmint before, but today, let me tell you I did. This was not just any scream however; THIS was a scream of pure anger.
So here I stand on the verge of all out war, quite uncertain of my next move. Callie I have considered the neck snappers, but you would have to come clean that up cause I'm sorry; I'm not up for it. Ryan, baseball bat clubbing just isn't very humane either. Besides, who wants bloody snow? I have also considered moving out... but find that alternative rather disagreeable as well. So it is to Walmart I go in search of a better solution. If you find me covered in a rash displaying flu like symptoms, please take me to the hospital, for I am most likely dying of lyme disease. (yes I've looked this up) But have no fear, I WILL win this war, even if I have to get the Pied Piper to come do it for me.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Bringing Home Baby
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Paralysis
When I was in grade school there was a certain boy in my class that loved to ask me "what's up?" I hated it. There's only so many answers that you could say to that, none of witch I even thought sounded half interesting. School? Nothin? The roof? The sky? Frankly I just ended up flustered every time I saw him which resulted in me saying absolutely nothing in response but instead leaving me standing in the middle of the room, looking confused and well...dumb. Or so I felt.
I approached my teacher about my dilemma one day. She really didn't see the problem, as most people don't. But she decided that the best answer would be none other then, *drum role please* ...Carrots...yes carrots...Carrots? Right. ok. According to her this would stop him from saying the stupid phrase all together! Fantastic! So being the trusting individual that I am, I tried it. "Why in the world would you say that?" "Cause teacher told me to! ha ha, yah know it's kinda funny really cause what if carrots really were up... ha ha. uh..ha?" Yeah that went over like a lead balloon. Should have just stood in the center of the room and looked dumb.
To this day I still have not found a suitable answer. And to this day it still seems to be the question that everybody still likes to ask. Just the other day in fact, "hey Stephanie! What's up!?" "errr uhhh *mind goes 800 mph* nothin much!" and they keep walking while I stand there in the middle of the room paralyzed in thought, looking none other than...you guessed it, dumb. Friendly gesture I suppose, but quite honestly I don't think they realize that it leaves me in shambles.
I wish somebody would erase it from daily vocabulary. But unfortunately I don't see that happening. So I suppose I am destined to the cruel paralysis that it brings...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Gingerbread Madness
Some of them weren't houses. There was actually quite a variety. I just was so amazed! How do these people do that!?
And the Grand prize winner is!